January 2010
If I ever have a son, I hope he’s nothing like me.
sunnyexpectations:
I feel like this is the year of actually getting to know people and their true natures…next thing I know you’re going to be like, “SURPRISE! I’m actually black. Yep, certifiable Negro. I’ve been wearing makeup this whole time.”
Coming clean means a huge cut in my makeup expenditures.
Write one leaf about chin hairs.
(via writeoneleaf)
I… I can’t grow facial hair. It eludes me like grains of sand, my fists clutching so desperately at the few straggly patches I can muster. If I were to allow it to grow for months, the hair on my face resembles an overhead view of teenagers at a mall: grouped awkwardly and with no real purpose. I feel respectable facial hair is the final hurdle into manhood. Yes,...
Write one leaf about eating while watching...
(via writeoneleaf)
We used to have family dinner at the old house. No TV, you just sat and ate dinner. If you were me, you fidgeted at the table and picked at dinner. When we moved here, we did that for a while. Theoretically, we could still do that; there’s no TV outside at the dinner table.
No one eats at the dinner table. I think the dog sleeps under the table. Mail collect on top of...
I lucked out.
Noel: i love you more than life
Noel: i want to spend my dying days fighting off hordes of undead at your side
Noel: in our cabin in the woods
Noel: with beautiful, rugged children
Noel: who know too little about a beautiful, rugged world
Noel: only the hardships of survival in a world fraught with zombie peril
Julie: you make me laugh
Julie: i would be honored to have that future with you
Noel: and we will regale them with tales of disneyland and the ocean
Noel: and ice cream
Julie: poor kids
Noel: and the sky
Julie: they wont know about disneyland
Julie: the sky they can live without
Julie: but not disneyland
1: I don't drink
2: Then how do you feel sorry for yourself?
1: Uhmm...
2: What, like Kool-Aid? That's dumb. You're dumb. You're a dumb person.
Write one leaf about your lucky shirt.
writeoneleaf:
If you have one.
I made a shirt for a dance performance I was in with my friends Rachel and Alex. The piece was about a dude between two relationships set to an acapella version of Alanis’ “Your House”. The choreographer made the two of them costumes, but I was on my own. Rachel was in pink and black, Alex in blue and tan. I went to a T-Shirt outlet, picked up a...
Seriously though, it hurts quite a bit.
Noel-Anthony: my shoulder hurrts
Noel-Anthony: my left side
Noel-Anthony: all the way up to my neck
Julie: :(
Julie: did you sleep funny?
Noel-Anthony: i slept HILARIOUS
Write one leaf about arriving early.
(via writeoneleaf)
Campa and I were supposed to see the world premier screening of Extraordinary Measures in Hollywood. We arrived about an hour early, thinking it enough time. It was not. We ended up getting a french dip sandwich and calling it a night. We are as electrons, taking the path of least resistance and often ending up where we started.
I'm sure I remember this incorrectly.
Again, we join Noel and Campa in a car.
Noel: Remember that one Science Friday episode with They Might Be Giants? That was so good.
Campa: Oh man, that was amazing.
There is a pause.
Noel: We're huge nerds.
Campa: YOU RUIN EVERYTHING.
On driving conditions
Noel is driving a car. Campa is in the passenger seat.
Noel: These windshield wiper blades suck.
Campa: You should get new ones.
Noel: These are the new ones!
Campa: You know you're supposed to replace them every six months.
Noel: What? No, that can't be--six months?
Campa: Yeah.
Noel: Whatever. We're almost there.
What I wish I had said
Noel: I live in Southern California. I can remove them for six months.
Write one leaf about typing.
(via writeoneleaf)
I have an old manual typewriter. I don’t use it as much as I used to. I had designed myself a writer and took up the habit of click-clacking on the white plastic keys into the night. That didn’t last long, as the walls in our house were thin and the typewriter was loud. The only thing I really used it for was to write letters to my friend Melissa, who hasn’t...
Write one leaf about energy.
(via writeoneleaf)
I wonder more often than one should wonder if anyone has ever tried to assemble techniques that would become the forms for lightsaber combat. After that, the following thought is likely which of the seven forms I would choose to study. Following that, there is only one thought that could possibly occupy my mind: Who will teach me?
Names have been changed to protect the socially...
Guy 1: I don't even want a girl to say out right, "I want to have sex with you". I don't know what to do with that. That is so inconceivable, I don't think I'd handle it properly. I just want to hear, in so many words, "I can think of three things that are worse than the idea of me having sex with you." That's all I'm asking for.
Guy 2: Yeah. I mean, that's all I think anyone wants. [pause] Man, a guy like me asks her and she just stares at the wall for 15 minutes. Then all you can do is thank them for their time and either walk away and cry or you have to come back really quick with something like, "So, you want to buy any wrapping paper or not?" Course, then you always have to carry your samples with you.
“Love the world that won’t love you back.”
– (via tremulant) Write One Leaf: Write one leaf about popularity.
Write one leaf about the snooze button.
(via writeoneleaf)
The alarm clock I use right now has no snooze button. It is either on or it isn’t.
I got it at SDCC for sitting at the end of a panel on 24. It’s a handsome thing, robust for a free giveaway. It has a stand but I keep it hooked onto these wire box things I have in my room.
It sits far enough away that I have to lift my body slightly to manipulate the controls in...
It fills my time between refills →
At 10am PST, you’ll be able to read my take on Jersey Shore. For now, I’m going to watch Mad Men and stumble into bed. Oh Don. You and your shenanigans.
They fight bears, you know.
Campa: Did you know "sinister" means left-handed?
Noel: Hmm. Like cats.
Campa: What?
Noel: Cats. They're predominantly left-handed.
Campa: That explains their effectiveness in combat.
Noel: "Sinister" indeed.
3 tags
Write one leaf about optometry.
(via writeoneleaf)
Glasses, a haiku
shield my eyes from rain
when you are knocked from my face
i just want to cry
3 tags
About unexpected bills.
(via writeoneleaf)
My sister’s dog, Brooklyn, got hit by a car. She was in Missouri visiting her boyfriend at the time, who had given her the dog. I had no idea what to do. I threw him in my minivan and drove him to the nearest vet, which luckily wasn’t too far and I knew where it was. That much went well. Brooklyn is better now.
That dog, whose depth perception leaves much to be...
1 tag
about Oz.
(via writeoneleaf)
“Jesus, my head. My brain is exploding and my skull is shrinking. Ow…”
Light peeks through the battered, wooden window shutters and a ray slices through the dust hanging in the air, searing his shut eye into closing even tighter. He slowly and ruefully sits up from the floor, one fist pressed to his temple, the other hand propping him up. Consciousness...