I can’t count how many times I’ve had incredibly uncomfortable run-ins with overly aggressive guys who felt they were entitled to harass me while I was going about my daily business just because I am a woman.
That feeling of anxiety and fear while trying to maintain a calm exterior and not “make a scene” is total fucking bullshit, and I’m just not going to do it anymore. Men who behave like the asshole who harassed the OP deserve to be made a spectacle of. They deserve to be made to feel that they are doing something wrong, because they are.
Not that long ago, shortly before Christmas, I was running errands and was at a Walgreens near my house picking up my usual 8,000 bottles of pills. I was wearing yoga pants and a sweatshirt and a hat and no makeup. So clearly I was looking for attention. The fact that I even have to SAY what I was wearing to reinforce the fact that I wasn’t ‘looking for male attention” is fucked up, but there you have it.The second I get out of the car, some dude sidles up to me spouting the usual lines of bullshit that guys like him use to try to intimidate women. It’s not about them being interested in you. If they were interested in you, they would approach you in a way that would put them in a good light, a way that would make you think, gee, what a nice guy. No. This guy was clearly trying to make me feel uncomfortable. Maybe his mommy didn’t love him enough, maybe an ex-girlfriend told him he had a small dick, whatever. Men who harass women in this way do it because they are intimidated by women in some way, so they feel like their best bet is to make women feel as shitty as they feel about themselves.
I don’t know what it was about this particular guy on this particular night, but I just couldn’t play the “polite smiles and walk as fast as possible away from him” game. There were other people in the parking lot. I didn’t think I was in immediate danger. So I just unleashed on him every ounce of anger I’ve repressed towards every other guy in my life who has harassed me.
I believe I said something along the lines of “Fuck you, dude, you don’t get to walk up to me and make me feel uncomfortable just because you have a dick and I don’t. Although, whether or not you have a dick is probably up for debate, because any real man would know that yelling at some woman about her ass in the parking lot of a Walgreens is not cool. Has this ever worked for you? Have you ever gotten someone’s number by acting this way? No? Then fucking stop it. And if you say one more word to me or come anywhere near me I am going to call the fucking cops because HARASSMENT IS ILLEGAL.”He looked like he had gotten hit by a bus for a minute, then of course launched into the “well, fuck you bitch, you aren’t all that hot anyways” line of defense. At this point everyone in the parking lot was staring at us, and some other guy standing near his car with what looked like his mother and maybe his young kids, yelled “Leave her the fuck alone, dude” and the guy tucked his tail between his legs and slunk back to his car and drove away.
Don’t play the polite game anymore with these assholes. Unless you’re in a dark alley or something, if there are other people around, especially if you’re in or near a store or other public place, let these guys know that what they are doing is fucking bullshit, and that you won’t let them ruin your day anymore. It probably won’t change their mind, but taking control of the situation and putting yourself in a place of power makes you feel ten times better than “trying not to make a scene”. Make a scene. Let everyone in a mile radius know that this guy is a spineless asshole who thinks it’s okay to harass women.
Cary:
This is what is happening in America. This stuff has always happened on a personal scale-be a female and walk by construction workers or even down the street or whatever and get cat calls or crude shouts or the like. It’s never been okay. But today’s America seems to deem this kind of…
What the everloving fuck is wrong with people?!
(Source: gabydunn)
